Perspective

I’ve heard my husband Mark say, “Comedy is you slipping on a banana peel. Tragedy is me slipping on a banana peel.”  So true. From a third party observer, these incidents are identical. The only difference is whose perspective.

This is another useful concept. Just because we have cancer doesn’t mean our situation is the worst. I’m a better human being when I can step outside my own head and consider the situation from someone else’s point of view.

We all get a mixed bag in life. Some of it is great stuff, cool stuff. And some of it sucks. At some level I think that by the end of the journey, it all evens out. And if it doesn’t, there’s always heaven. During cancer #1, I told myself every chemo day was another day out of purgatory. So these treatments were really an investment in my future. It helped.

Would I rather have my legs taken off by a train, or would I rather have cancer? Would I rather be blind? Would I rather be one of those guys who are “locked in” and can only communicate by blinking their eyes? Some days maybe it’s a toss-up. But if I catch me feeling sorry for myself (Y-me?) I ask, who slipped on the banana peel?

At United Way we had a guest speaker who was a psychologist specializing in teen girls. One morning she had a meeting with a girl on the South Side whose mom was stabbed to death in the middle of the night, right next to her is bed, by a boyfriend who climbed through the window as they slept. That afternoon she met with a girl from the North Shore who failed to make the cheerleading team.

Both girls suffered from deep depression. My knee jerk reaction was these scenarios are a ridiculous comparison. But the psychologist went on to explain how on the Richter Scale of depression, these girls were identical. Wow. My reaction was one of rush-to-judgement, not empathy. Good lesson.

On some days the best course is to step out of your own shoes into someone else’s. At least it gives you a break.